I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
