So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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