i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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