I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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