i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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