MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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