WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize