Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
as a side note pls kill me
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize