OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
