I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize