She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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