Christians are straight up FREAKS
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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