I wish I only lived at night.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
