ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
