Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
