Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
