I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
