I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
