guys are only as good as the porn they watch
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
a search helicopter?!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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