I think I just saw someone hide a body.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
