He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
