Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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