can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
