Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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