Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize