He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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