So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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