TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
