Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
