I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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