so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
