My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
