I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
