wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
