Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
