I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
