just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
