new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This baby is an asshole
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
