And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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