Fuck appropriateness.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
