I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
