I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
