You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
