I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize