I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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