yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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