I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
4 words: hood of his car
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
