doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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