Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize