I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
