and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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