Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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