he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
