thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
