i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
