don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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