she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
