Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
