i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
